Philippine Call Center Scenarios... Life on the Phones 1

The BPO (business process outsourcing) industry has been a huge success in the Philippines. I'm one of those who has made a career in the business. I started in 2000 as a sales agent, we used to do "outbound" cold calling back in the days where the words "put me in your DNC (do not call) list" and "fuck you" were nothing personal nor hurtful for us but rather "signs" that the customer is interested in what were offering (back then we were taught to believe so).

Fast forward, after a year of taking in calls, I was promoted to "Accent Trainer" position. Now my job was to make sure that I "neutralize" the accents of  Filipino agents. If I could only create a concoction that would instantly soften tongues and make them all sound "American" I could have been CEO by now. LOL

Through the years I can recall funny moments at work. Here is my attempt to compile them and share them with you before I get dementia. Let me tag them as Call Center Scenarios... Enjoy!!! ^_^

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Call Center Scenario 1:

I was monitoring a call couple of years back with a new hired agent, I was an accent trainer back then...

Agent: Hi, May I please speak with Mrs. Dolores Boner?
Customer: Oh! hihihihihihihihihi, I haven't had that for quite sometime now!

I ran as fast as I could to the agent's station and asked him to ask permission if he can put the customer on hold, which the lady said yes. I checked on the customer's last name at it spelled... Dolores BOONE.

Me: Iho pakibasa nga mabuti yung last name ng customer.
Agent: B O O N E R

Me: There is no R at the end, so the correct pronunciation is B O O N!
When in doubt pls ask the customer read/say their last name to you to avoid miscommunication.
 

 Didn't you know that BONER in English means hard dick?!

 Good thing that your customer had a sense of humor.

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CALL CENTER RECALL SCENARIO 2: 

A classic blooper "hold" spiel by new agents to customers:

"CAN I HOLD YOU FOR A MINUTE OR TWO WHILE I PULL OUT MY TOOL?!"
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CALL CENTER SCENARIO 3:

Agent was in a heated discussion with the customer. Out of frustration the customer says "FUCK YOU!" to the agent.

The Supervisor was monitoring the call. Stands up and goes to the agent to see how she can help.

Agent was crying like crazy...

Supervisor: Hey why are you crying?

Agent: The customer is fucking me!!! Waaahhhhh!!!
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 CALL CENTER SCENARIO 4:

Customer: Hey your service sucks! I cannot get proper signal from my satellite dish and I'm paying you guys a lot of money from my pension, it's like you are robbing your own grandfather!!!

Agent: I'm really sorry for the inconvenience that this may have cost you sir. Let me ask you a question so I can further assist you, are you a retard?

Customer: What did you just call me a retard?

Agent: Yes, sir, you are a senior citizen so that makes you a retard correct?!

*RETIRED is the operative word here my dear... tsk tsk tsk

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CALL CENTER SCENARIO 5:

Conducting language assessment interview for agent level..

Me: So, tell me something about yourself which is not in your resume.

Applicant: Well sir, I'm John Perez (not real name), I'm a trustworthy person, I'm a plexible person, I'm a punctual person.

Me: (thought bubble) I get it, I know you are a PERSON... So how many are you in the family?

Applicant: I'm the eldest among the three siblings of my mother and father

I GOT LOST....